Spend Time in a Group Where You Stick Out

Sticking out means being in a group where you are obviously different.

Like joining a club where the other members are all adults; or being the only one in a group with your skin color or who speaks your native language.

Sticking out can make us feel self-conscious or uncomfortable at first, but with practice it gives us some amazing skills. We get to practice how to connect with people who are different from us. We start to have more empathy for people who might feel awkward in a place that feels comfortable to us. All of this means that you become really good at making friends – a useful skill if ever there was one.

When you start to understand what it feels like to stick out, you can become a champion for others. Say you’re in a dance class and see the new kid looking embarrassed -- feeling like they’re sticking out in the worst way — could you help them? Say a new kid enrolls in your school from a different culture or place, and you can tell they feel left out and maybe even unwelcome — could you become their friend and ally?

Many people feel that they stick out all the time, but some are lucky enough to feel like they belong right where they are, at least at home. If you’re in that lucky group, then it’s time for a new adventure. Time to get out of your comfort zone.

Getting Started: Start off close to home. What are the local cultures different from yours, those which you haven’t yet connected with but could possibly be welcomed into? Here’s a list of starting points: 

Places of worship. What are all the different religious places in your community? If you were raised Hindu, for example, could you find a friend to invite you to a religious ceremony of another faith, say a Christmas Eve Mass, or a Jewish Bat Mitzvah?  
Food. Humans all over the world connect around food, and cultures often gather around restaurants. Is there a restaurant or shop near you that represents a different culture, and is a gathering place for people like that, which you could visit? 
Community Organizations, Meetups & Classes. You can find a huge number of ideas through this, like taking tango lessons and meeting people from the Spanish-speaking world, or playing mahjong and learning about Chinese culture.

If you are fortunate enough to have the means, or to be able to save up, then travel is an especially powerful way to experience this. If you travel, try to get away from the usual tourist places. Consider language immersion travel or family home stays. When you’re old enough, programs like WWOOF - Willing Workers on Organic Farms - can set you up to volunteer and stay longer than you might otherwise be able to afford in a foreign place. Gap year programs, like Global Citizen Year, can bring you into deep contact with a community far away, becoming far more than just a tourist.