Receive Mentoring

Everyone, no matter how old, needs a mentor. One person just can’t know all the wisdom out there. There are always people who have lived something you have not. A mentor gives you hints and clues, and supports you unconditionally to grow into your strongest, wisest, kindest self.

A mentor can be anyone willing and able to support and challenge you. Support means helping you handle what’s happening right now in your life, making sense of things, having someone to talk to, getting questions answered. They could talk about what it’s like to work, or to use money, or to handle relationship problems. Challenge means lovingly pushing you to grow, to try something new, to work toward your potential. A great mentor listens deeply, shares their life story, and can laugh about their mistakes, making it easier for you to laugh about yours too.

It can take a few tries to find the right mentor. It’s a question of fit with where you are right now. But it’s worth working to find the right person. You’ll know you’ve found them when you feel both excited and slightly nervous to be around them; when you’re amazed and grateful they’re willing to give you their time.

Getting Started: To find a mentor, first, remind yourself that it could take a few tries. Don't expect that the first person you ask is going to be the right fit. But if you keep at it, you will find your mentor.

First, see if there might be someone already in your life, say an aunt or uncle or a coach, who would be the right mentor and just needs to be asked. Do you have a favorite relative, family friend, coach, or past teacher? If there’s already an adult who you feel connected to, start there first. You can begin by asking if they would be up for talking once in a while about life; or just try asking them one of the questions on your mind, when you have an opportunity for a private conversation.
Find a Program: If you haven’t found someone already in your life, try looking for a formal mentoring program. Luckily there are many options here. There are programs like Big Brothers Big Sisters, and organizations like the Boys & Girls Clubs, local youth centers, or civic associations like the Rotary Club, all of which often have mentoring programs or could at least point you in the right direction. If you have a counselor, teacher or coach you trust at school, ask them if they know of a resource.
Activate your allies: If those two methods haven’t yet worked, choose at least two adults you trust and ask for their help to find you a mentor. This could include parents, teachers, family friends, coaches, and relatives. You could simply ask them, or send them a note, to say that you’ve set a goal of finding a mentor, and that if they if they meet someone who might be the right fit, you would love to talk with them. While you’re waiting, keeps your eyes open, and think about the different adults you interact with each day. Does one seem particularly inspiring to you, like you would want to be like them when you grow up, at least in some way? Keep looking and keep asking others for help with this, and you will find someone. It’s worth it. That person might become one of your most trusted allies in life.