Let Go of an Old Part of Yourself

We all have old habits or old ways of doing things, and sometimes, those old ways are holding us back.

Are there situations in your life that you feel sick of? Maybe it’s getting in fights with your sibling or parents, or always stopping yourself from trying something because you think you won’t be good at it? If so, this might be a sign that there is an old way of thinking and it’s time for it to go.

Letting go of it means deciding that you aren’t going to act on that habit any more. Sure, your brother may still be annoying, but you can decide to fight less. Or maybe you still feel nervous about learning how to swim, but you decide to go for it anyway, because you’re sick of not being able to. Whatever it is, you can start to move beyond it. It doesn’t happen instantly but by starting to take steps in this direction, you may be surprised how much you can change.

Getting Started:

Identify the “Old Part”: Try to really specifically describe, either in writing or by telling someone else (since that helps you get clearer on it), what that old part of yourself is that you don’t want anymore. For example: “Old me never made food for myself so I had to wait for my parents to do it.” Or “Old me fights with my brother every single day.” Try to look for the habits that make you think “why does this always happen” or “I’m done with this” to locate that old part that needs to go.
Set an Intention: This challenge works by bringing your awareness to something that used to happen automatically. To do this, it helps to set an intention. For example, an intention could be “to make more food for myself so I don’t have to wait for parents to do it.” You may not yet know how – but you know what you need to learn and do.
Make it memorable: To make that intention stick, remind yourself of it a lot. That way, when you start doing the old thing you used to do automatically, you’re more likely to notice it and stop yourself.
You could remind yourself of your intention with a little sign next to your bed when you wake up, or by asking a friend to text you about it once per day. If you can make it social by telling friends about your intention and asking for their help, it’s much more likely to stick. Making a little ceremony can be another way – for example, by writing the “old part” on a piece of paper and then tossing it into a fire! It sounds dramatic, but if it helps you remember your intention at the right moment, it’s worth it.
Be patient: If that old part of you is a habit, it probably formed over years. That means it will take some time to get rid of it. Don’t beat yourself up if you accidentally repeat it. Just keep making yourself aware of your intention, and keep working on the “new part” that you’re replacing it with. Say your old part is fighting with a sibling – can you find some conflict resolution strategies that will help you communicate better? Or if your intention is to make food for yourself, can you find basic recipes that will get you started? With time and effort, all change is possible.