Discover Your Privilege

What exactly is a privilege? It’s a special advantage that only a particular person or group gets. We all have some privileges, some we’ve earned and some we just received; and we all are denied certain privileges. The catch is, privilege is not given out in a fair way. And, privilege has a HUGE impact on our lives, on how we see the world and other people. So if we want to see the world clearly, and if we want to make it a better world, we need to understand our privilege.

Here are some examples of privilege. Which ones might apply to you?

In our society, men still have an unfair advantage in salary, and on average earn more than women do for the same jobs. This is a privilege, and a really unfair one, given to males.
Having an “able body” – meaning you don’t have physical disabilities or limitations – is a privilege, allowing you to move around freely, to participate in sports, and more.
Race creates privileges – because there is still so much racism in our country, people of color are often not given the same treatment as European-descended people, creating huge unfair privileges.
Being a citizen is a privilege, which allows some to vote in elections and have more of a say in how things are run.

Having a privilege doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. But if you aren’t aware of your privilege, you will be confused about why others act the way they do, you’ll lose potential friendships, and you may accidentally hurt people. Lacking a privilege might make you angry and resentful without knowing why. But when you realize how privilege works in your life and everyone else’s, you’ll find yourself able to connect with people more easily, to enjoy friendships and feel safe around others, and to make the world a fairer place.

Getting Started: We’ll explore what kinds of privileges you have now, and which privilege others have and not you. This can lead to difficult conversations, much deeper ones than can be covered on this webpage, but this path is filled with self-discovery, with insights about how the world works, and offers one of the best chances we have to make it a better place.

Explore which privileges you have and have not received: If you google “privilege checklist,” you will find lists of many different kinds of privilege. Here is one example. You don’t have to read about every single privilege, but read enough to find some that you have, and some that you do not have.
Discover Your Story. Understanding privilege involves getting to know your own story better, the ways you have been privileged and not been privileged. Where are your people from? Your parents, their parents, and as far back as you can reach? How did they get here? What were their struggles along the way?
Listen to Others’ Stories. Equally important, as you understand your own story better, is to listen deeply to those of others. When someone is willing to share, ask them openly and kindly if they would share their own experience of privilege. How have they noticed privilege helping them? Hurting them? Whatever they share, listen deeply and without judgment. Everyone has their own truth to tell, the story of their life as they’ve experienced it. 
Recognize unfairness for what it is. It’s not fair that men often get higher salaries for the same job than women. It's not fair that your skin color might determine how someone feels about you, even if they’ve never met you before. Discovering privilege means discovering a whole list of unfair things about our society. It’s painful to come face to face with this. The path to change starts with being aware, and then speaking out when something is unfair. Keep in mind that there may be unfair things which are helping you. Your voice saying “this is unfair even though it’s helping me” is especially powerful. 
Be part of the solution. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr wrote, “the arc of history is long, but it bends toward justice.” It will take a long time to address the unfairness in our society that comes from privilege, but it can be done, and more and more people are waking up to this situation. Here are some ways to help:
1. Speak out and work for change: Change starts in our own communities, where you know people and understand how things work. Can you spot an unfairness around you that comes from privilege? Perhaps some of your peers come from families who lack internet access, and you could organize a fundraising drive to make sure that everyone in your community has internet access at home to do homework and research and be in touch with friends. 
2. Join or Start a Club or Affinity Group: Regardless of whether you feel you have overall benefited from privilege or been hurt by it, there are ways to join communities that want to learn more and help each other grow through it. You could join or start a Service Club to support those who have fewer privileges, for example helping those without a home in your community. You could join or start a GSA club (Gender Sexuality Alliance). If you see yourself as having a gender or sexuality that gives you privileges, you can still be an ally to those who do not have such privileges, and you can learn more about yourself and others in the process. If you are a member of a group who does not have fair privileges, you might consider creating an affinity group to band together and argue for what is fair. 
3. Keep talking about it! With mentors or teachers, at home or at school, look for places you can continue to discuss these questions. The more we discuss this with others, the more we overcome the isolation that privilege (or lack of privilege) creates, and can feel united with others who are experiencing similar challenges, or working to become more aware. We’ll also learn a lot about our friends through these conversations, helping to understand and appreciate them. Look for places you can continue these conversations, like clubs or affinity groups, with friends and family, mentors and teachers.
Special thanks to Abigail Henderson and Newton Martin for their contributions to this article.