Connect With Someone Over 75

Some lessons we can’t learn from parents or friends. Some lessons require someone with a whole lifetime’s worth of wisdom. If you want to, you can build a relationship with someone much older and start to see life from a bigger perspective.

Life makes more sense when you can see it from many perspectives. After all, if you’re 14 and everyone you spend time with is also 14, then you might think that the worries of a 14 year old are the most important things in the world. Just like if you’re 75 and everyone you see is also 75, you might think 14 year olds are strange creatures who don’t make any sense. The trick is to zoom out of your single perspective, in order to see things more clearly.

The benefit goes both ways. When you share your stories and ideas with an elder, it may remind them of the wisdom they’ve earned and inspire them as they hear your adventures. These relationships, making a bridge between young adulthood and elderhood, help both sides.

Getting Started: It all begins with stories. Most people love sharing their stories. And someone over 75 probably has many amazing tales from which to choose. Sharing stories also gives you something to focus on when you’re connecting with someone new.

[Important Note: Since coronavirus is more dangerous for elderly people, if you’re connecting with an elderly person who does not already live with you, better to do it by phone, video call, or letter until the pandemic is over.]

You could create a project to gather stories from elders in your community. This might mean your older relatives, residents in a senior center, friends of the family, or relatives of your teachers. You could take the approach of being a journalist and story-gatherer. Try documenting their stories on audio, video, or in writing, asking them questions and recording their responses. For a useful example of this, look up the StoryCorps program, which gathers stories of all kinds from people around the United States.

To prepare for these interviews, think of the questions that matter to you right now, and ask them for their experience of those. Maybe it’s about finding friendship, or figuring out what they wanted to do with their lives, or handling the curveballs and defeats that life throws all of us from time to time. Ask them what they think matters, from the special perspective they hold. As you gather stories, you may start to see a relationship forming, a connection with someone who seems to be speaking right to you. Treasure this when you find it — you’ve made a bridge between two generations, offering wisdom in both directions. They need you just as much as you need them.