Challenge a Gender Stereotype

Let’s try a little experiment. Fill in the sentences below with as many words as you can: 

Boys are:

Girls are:

 Whatever you wrote that showed a difference, other than different shapes of bodies, deserves a close look with a skeptical eye. Are you sure this is what boys are, or what girls are — or is this about what our culture says they are? What if a lot of our ideas about boys and girls aren’t anything real, what if they are just stories we are told?

 For example, did you know that in the early 1900s, pink was considered a boys’ color, and blue was for girls? Or that both boys and girls wore dresses until they were six or seven years old? Nowadays we have a different story and it may seem like it has always been that way. But it’s just a story of our culture, and stories can change all the time.

As you get older and wiser, you don’t have to believe every story you hear. Especially the stories about who you have to be. You can look at these stories and decide for yourself. You get to figure out who you are. The more you know the stories of our culture, the more you can be free to be yourself. Here is how to get started understanding the story of gender.

Getting Started:

• Discover stereotypes in your own thinking: We all have absorbed some stereotypes without realizing it. The trick is to become aware of them, so we don’t have to believe them anymore.

  Taking the experiment above a little further, look at the list of “Boys are” and “Girls are” items. See if you can prove some of them false. For example, one stereotype is that “boys don’t have as strong emotions”. There is actually no evidence for this — it’s just a story people tell! You could cross this, and others like it, out on your list.

  Try this in different areas, like hobbies, clothing, sports, chores at home, favorite activities, how they hang out with friends, or which school subjects one gender is supposedly better at. Chances are, close to none of these things are objectively true.

• Try experiments: After you’ve explored these two lists - “boys are” and “girls are” — try adding a third column. It could just be titled “Me”. How do you relate to each of the ideas you just listed? if you could be totally free of gender stereotypes for a moment, how would you want to express yourself in each of these ways, for example in the clothes you wear, the way you share emotion, or what subjects at school you think come naturally for you?

• Be an ally: You can take this a step further by sharing your experience, and listening deeply to the experiences of others figuring out the stereotypes our culture has about gender. You can begin to take an active role in freeing yourself, and standing up for others trying to do the same thing, from having to follow these traditional norms. You could join or help to start a club like the Gender Sexuality Alliance, which supports people discovering who they are and being free to express it. You could be an ally to someone who is taking on the challenge of expressing their gender in ways that might get made fun of or attacked by less thoughtful people.